I don’t want to get down on people who are just trying to make an honest living on Etsy but Jesus Quincunx Christ, is the proper order of the zodiac too hard to learn? I should have learned that the answer is ‘yes’ based on the last time I wrote about 9 Things That Make […]
10 Astrology T-Shirts on Etsy That Don’t Know How To Zodiac Read More »
Me: Hey Internet, it’s me again. Internet: HEY LOOK HERE’S A TRUMP THANG Me: Get that orange boil out of my face. Internet: TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP Me: *X out* Internet: TRUMP Me: *Scroll down* Internet: TRUMPETY TRUMPETY TRUMP Me: GAH that’s sort of the point, I need something else right now, even the slightest
What the Internet Apparently NEEDS TO KNOW About You And Your Sun Sign Read More »
Me: So, beyond sun signs and vague notions about planetary correspondences, you affirm that you don’t know anything about astrology, including its peculiar terminology and fancy jargon? Them: Correct. Me: So I’m going to read you a list of words, one right after the other, and I want you to tell me what you think they
Astrological Jargon According To Someone Who Has No Clue What It Means Read More »
Here is a list of things that should make any astrologer go ಠ_ಠ. Be forewarned: you may want to get some pillows for all the palmface/headdesk combos you’re about to endure. The big takeaway: some people really, really struggle with the zodiac. 1. This fucking armillary sphere is out to goddamn lunch. ಠ_ಠ DERP. Because that’s
9 Things That Will Make Astrologers Go ಠ_ಠ Read More »
I was recently struck by a statement made by astrologer Samuel F. Reynolds in his “To Unlock Astrology”, a draft of a manifesto for a new Humanist astrology. Although astrology has been a global project, it’s not been a project free of power plays and assertions. For starters, the names we use for the planets
What Astrology Would Be Like If Millennials Invented (Ruined) It Read More »
Quincunxes are good at making you cringe and getting a high score at Scrabble, and that’s about the end of the ‘pro-‘ list. Otherwise, the so-called quincunx aspect is a load of codswallop. It’s a 150° separation between two points, and it’s a bucket of balderdash. It’s also called ‘inconjunct’, and it’s a sack of
Why the Quincunx Aspect is a Load of Codswallop Read More »
Me: Hey, Internet, what do you think of my sun sign, Libra? Internet: Hello! Would you like to go on Facebook? Me: No. Internet: Jk, you’re already on. Want to post on your friend’s inflammatory political post? Me: No. Internet: Want to retweet your follower’s sepia toned meme with a pithy quote on it? Me:
What the Internet Thinks of You and Your Sun Sign (Hint: Not Much) Read More »
